Yahari Ore no Seishun Rabu Kome wa Machigatteiru - Volume 01 Read online

  Yukinoshita's short chuckle almost sounded like a sigh.

  “You really don’t understand what it means to be in a group, do you? You’re a master of solitude.”

  “You’re the last person I want to hear that from…”

  Yukinoshita continued talking, completely ignoring my comeback.

  “I admit that it’s possible that they will band together if presented with a common enemy such as you… But they would only make the effort required to throw you out, which will not translate into any personal improvement. Therefore, that isn’t a solution at all. I stand as evidence of that.”

  “I see… Wait, you’re evidence?”

  “Yes. I returned from overseas in middle school, so naturally I started at a new place, but all the girls in my class… Or, rather, all the girls in the school were desperate to drive me out. Even so, not a single person tried to better themselves to the point where they could beat me. What imbeciles…”

  I could’ve sworn that I saw black flames fill the air behind Yukinoshita.

  Crap, I think I just stepped on a land mine here…

  “U-uh, yeah, that makes sense, I guess… I mean, if a girl's as cute as you, then that sort of thing happens…”

  “…W-well, that’s true. Compared to the other girls, it’s no exaggeration to say that my looks are by far the best, and it’s not like the other girls are so weak-willed as to just lay down and give up at that, so you could say it was a natural result. That said, Yamashita-san and Shimamura-san were also pretty cute… They were pretty popular with the boys as well. But that only applied to their looks. When it came to academics, sports, artistic ability, and even etiquette and spirit, they couldn’t even hope to reach my ankles. And if turning the entire world upside down still won't be enough to beat me, then it’s natural that they would concentrate all their efforts into grabbing me by the legs and dragging me down instead…”

  Yukinoshita had seemed at a loss for words for a moment, but she soon fell back into her same old rhythm and started shooting out flowery, self-aggrandizing statements one after the other.

  You could say that her speech flowed like a river, but it was more like the torrents of Niagara Falls… Saying all that without missing a beat was seriously impressive.

  Could it be that it was Yukinoshita’s way of hiding her embarrassment? So maybe she had her cute sides too…

  Yukinoshita was catching her breath, probably because she had talked for so long. Her face was also slightly red.

  “……Could you please try not to say something weird? I’m just trembling in fear.”

  “Ahh, what a relief… As I thought. You’re not cute at all.”

  Actually, to be honest, Totsuka was way cuter than any of the girls I knew… What the hell.

  Oh, right… We were supposed to be talking about Totsuka here.

  “But Totsuka should be happy if something can be done to improve the tennis team…”

  As I spoke, Yukinoshita widened her eyes and stared at me.

  “How unusual… Since were you the type of person to worry about others?”

  “Hey, come on… This is the first time someone’s asked me for advice, so, you know…”

  In the end, getting asked for help did make me somewhat happy. Plus, Totsuka was pretty cute… Without realizing it, my lips began to loosen into a smile. Yukinoshita butted in, almost as if she wanted to stop that smile.

  “I’ve often been asked for love advice in the past.”

  Her chest puffed out proudly as she spoke, but her expression gradually darkened.

  “…Although when a girl asks for love advice, it’s usually just a strategy to tie others down.”

  “Huh? What do you mean?”

  “’If I announce who I like, then the people around me will start to be more careful, right? It’s like marking your territory. Once it's a known fact, trespassing will get you treated like a thief and thrown out. Even a guy who confesses will still get thrown out.’ Did you really need to tell me all that…?”

  Black flames were burning behind Yukinoshita again. After she said “girls and love advice,” I'd hoped for something really bittersweet, but that just sounded unpleasant.

  Why did she have to go and trample on another one of this pure boy’s dreams? Was she enjoying this?

  Yukinoshita suddenly laughed wryly, as if to wash away her unpleasant memories.

  “In short, don’t just assume that it’s a good thing to listen to every wish and try to help everyone. Isn’t it an old saying? ‘Even lions will throw their cubs into bottomless pits and kill them.’”[1]

  “Killing them would defeat the purpose…”

  Besides, the real saying is, “Even when hunting their own cubs, lions will exhaust all their strength.”[2]

  “So what would you do, then?”

  “Me?”

  The confused Yukinoshita blinked a few times, then fell into thought.

  “I suppose I would make them all run until they died, then make them practice racquet swings until they died, and then make them play practice matches until they died.”

  She said all that with a bit of a smile on her face. It was seriously scary.

  Then I jumped in my seat--the door had just flown open with a bang.

  “Heyoo~~!!”

  In complete contrast to Yukinoshita, Yuigahama entered with that happy-go-lucky, screwed-in-the-head greeting.

  Yuigahama had her usual stupid grin on her face. She seemed as carefree as ever.

  However, there was someone else behind her with a serious yet feeble-looking expression on his face.

  His lowered eyes were devoid of confidence, and he was weakly gripping the hem of Yuigahama’s blazer. His skin was pale white. He reminded me of a faint dream, something that would disappear the minute you looked at it under the light.

  “Ah… Hikigaya-kun!”

  He gave me a bright smile the moment he saw me, and color seemed to return to his pale skin. When he smiled like that, I finally realized who he was. Why did he look so gloomy…?

  “Totsuka…”

  He slowly pitter-pattered towards me, and this time, he grabbed my sleeve tightly. Hey, hey, that’s against the rules… Though I guess he’s a guy.

  “Hikigaya-kun, what are you doing here?”

  “Ah, I’m a member of this club… Why are you here?”

  “I brought a new customer with me today, fufu~~.”

  Yuigahama’s pointlessly large breasts waved back and forth as she spoke proudly. I wasn’t asking you… I wanted to hear that from Totsuka’s cute lips…

  “Hey, come on--I’m a part of this club too, ya know? So I thought I’d earn my keep. And Sai-chan looked like he had something on his mind, so I brought him here.”

  “Yuigahama-san.”

  “Yukinon, you really don’t have to thank me. As a club member, this is the least I can do--”

  “Yuigahama-san, I really don’t see how you’re a club member…”

  “I’m not?!”

  She’s not?! That’s shocking… I thought it was pretty clear that she was slowly becoming part of the club.

  “That's right. You never handed in your application letter and our advisor has not recognized your membership, so you’re not a club member.”

  Yukinoshita was pointlessly strict when it came to the rules.

  “I’ll write one! If you want an application letter then I’ll write you a million! Just let me join up!”

  Yuigahama had tears in her eyes as she took a piece of looseleaf and began to write. “application letter”… At least capitalize it, dammit.[3]

  “So, Totsuka Saika-kun… Right? What do you want from us?”

  Yukinoshita ignored the hastily-writing Yuigahama and turned towards Totsuka. Totsuka began to shake as he was pinned in place by Yukinoshita’s cold stare.

  “U-Umm… I want… to make the tennis team… better, I guess…?”

  Totsuka was looking at Yukinoshita at first, but as the sentence progresse
d, he slowly turned to look towards me. Totsuka was shorter than me, so he was looking up at me as he tried to gauge my reaction.

  Please don’t stare at me… My heart’s starting to race, dammit, so look somewhere else.

  But just as I was thinking that, even though I’m sure she wasn’t intending to save me, Yukinoshita answered in my place.

  “I don't know what Yuigahama-san told you, but the service club is not some miracle cure-all. We are here only to help and promote independence. Whether the tennis team gets better or not completely depends on you.”

  “I… see…”

  Totsuka shoulders drooped; he looked completely disapppointed. Yuigahama must have told him something to get his hopes up…

  “Where’s that seal, where’s that seal…”[4] Yuigahama muttered as she began to rummage through her bag. I glared at her, and as she felt my stare, she looked up.

  “Huh? What is it?”

  “Don’t give me that… You made irresponsible false promises, and now we have to break this young man’s fragile hopes and dreams.”

  Yukinoshita threw merciless words at Yuigahama, but Yuigahama just cocked her head in puzzlement.

  “Hm? Hmmm? But, I mean, I thought Yukinon and Hikki would definitely be able to do something… Was I wrong?”

  Yuigahama said that in a completely nonchalant tone. Depending on how you took that statement, you could almost hear a bit of a teasing challenge in it too.

  And, unfortunately, there was someone here who would take it just that way.

  “……Hmph. Now you’ve said it, Yuigahama-san… Whether the one over there can do anything is another issue, but to think you would try to test me like this…”

  Yukinoshita laughed. Ahh, it looked like some weird switch had just flipped on inside of her… Yukinoshita Yukino was the kind of person who took all challenges head-on and used all her strength to smash them to pieces--hell, she would smash them to pieces even if she wasn’t provoked. She was the kind of person who would mercilessly lay into even a peace-loving Gandhi like myself.

  “Well then, fine, Totsuka-kun: I will accept your request. All I have to do is help you improve your tennis ability, right?”

  “Y-yes, that’s right. I-if I get better, I think everyone else will try harder too.”

  Maybe he felt pressured by Yukinoshita’s wide-eyed stare, but Totsuka was hiding behind me as he answered. His face peeked out from just slightly above my shoulder, and I saw uneasy fear in his eyes. It was almost like looking at a trembling wild rabbit… And it made me want to put him in a bunny girl costume.

  Of course, when the Queen of Ice offered you her help, it was natural to feel scared. I could almost picture Yukinoshita saying something like, “I’ll make you stronger, but only if you give me your soul!” Was she a witch or something?

  I wanted to alleviate Totsuka’s unease, so I took one step forward to protect him.

  When I was close to Totsuka, I could smell the scent of shampoo and deodorant. He smelled indescribably like a high school girl… What the hell kind of shampoo was he using?

  “Well, it’s fine if we help, but what are we going to do?”

  “I said it already, didn’t I? Do you not remember? If you don’t trust your memory, perhaps you should consider taking notes?”

  “Wait, don’t tell me you were being serious back there…”

  As I thought back to when Yukinoshita was saying things about forcing people to work “until they died,” I saw Yukinoshita smile back at me… It was almost as if she was reading my thoughts. Damn was that smile scary…

  Totsuka’s white skin became paler and he began to tremble.

  “Am I… going to die…?”

  “It’s fine. I’ll protect you.”

  I said that and pat Totsuka on the shoulder. When I did that, Totsuka blushed and sent me a heated look.

  “Hikigaya-kun… Are you saying that seriously?”

  “Nah, sorry… I just kinda wanted to say it.”

  “I’ll protect you” is in any guy's top three list of “Things I want to say.” (In case you’re curious, number one is “Leave it to me--just go on ahead.”) In any case, if I was no match for Yukinoshita, then there was no way I could protect anyone from her. It was just… If I didn’t say something to make Totsuka feel better, then his unease would never go away.

  Totsuka let out a short sigh and he frowned.

  “I seriously can’t understand Hikigaya-kun sometimes… but…”

  “Hm, so Totsuka-kun has tennis practice after school, correct? Well then, let’s start our special training sessions during lunch break. Shall we meet on the courts?”

  Yukinoshita interrupted Totsuka and began to quickly make plans for tomorrow and beyond.

  “Roger~~!”

  Yuigahama held out the application letter she had just finished writing as she answered. Totsuka also nodded. So… That meant…

  “So… I’m going too?”

  “Naturally. After all, it’s not like you have any other plans for lunch break, right?”

  …Nail on the head there.

  6-6

  And that was how our hellish training schedule was set. It would begin the next day.

  Why in the world did I have to join in?

  Ultimately, wasn’t this service club just a little fenced-off garden for weaklings to gather and doze off? Wasn’t it just a club that collected worthless people and gave them a pleasant place to be for a while?

  And how was any of that different from the “youth” I so despised?

  Of course, Hiratsuka-sensei might be trying to turn this place into some kind of sanitarium, a place where we infected people could be isolated and treated…

  …but if our illnesses could really be cured by something so trivial, then we wouldn’t be sick to begin with.

  Take Yukinoshita, for example. I have no idea what sort of things were weighing on her mind, but I knew that going to the club wouldn't make them go away.

  Actually, the only way a place like this could heal my wounds would be if Totsuka were a girl. Maybe if, through this tennis stuff, some kind of love comedy bloomed between us, things would be a little different…

  To my knowledge, Totsuka Saika was the cutest person in the world. He was sincere, and, more importantly, he was kind to me. If we took the time and effort to nurture our love for one another, then I might mature as a human being as well.

  …But, you know, Totsuka was a guy. God is an idiot.

  That made me a bit depressed, but I still finished changing into my jersey. Then I headed for the tennis courts. Hey, I was still holding onto the slim chance that he was a girl. I’d stake all my hopes and dreams on that chance!

  Our school jersey was a pointlessly fluorescent light blue, and it stood out a lot. The almost impressively unfashionable color scheme made every student hate those uniforms, so they never wore them except during gym or sports practices.

  So everyone else wore their normal uniforms, and I was the only one there standing out like an idiot in my jersey.

  That was why I was snared by an annoying person.

  “Hah hah hah hah Hachiman.”

  “Don’t make my name part of your laughter…”

  In all of Soubu High, only Zaimokuza could possibly have such a disgusting laugh. He stood, arms crossed, blocking my way.

  “What a fortuitous meeting… I was on my way to deliver my new work. Come, feast your eyes! Behold!”

  “Ahh, sorry… I’m a bit busy at the moment.”

  I slipped to the side, lightly dodging the bundle of papers he thrust out toward me… But Zaimokuza gently caught me by the shoulder.

  “…Don’t make up such sad lies. How in the world could you have plans?”

  “It’s not a lie… And you’re the last person I want to hear that from.”

  Why did everyone say that? Did I really look like I really had so little to do with my time? …Well, not that they were wrong…

  “Hmph, Hachiman, I understand�
� You simply wished to act cool for a bit, and so you made a small lie. And then, to protect that lie from exposure, you lied again. But that is an endless cycle, a tragic infinite cycle of deceit. See here, Hachiman, that spiral heads nowhere.

  In general, human relationships head nowhere. But there is still time to pull yourself back from that abyss! …You helped me out once before, and now I will return the favor!”