Yahari Ore no Seishun Rabu Kome wa Machigatteiru - Volume 01 Read online

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  Prologue - Looking back on High School life

  Looking Back On High School Life

  Hikigaya Hachiman

  Grade 11, Class F

  Youth is a lie. It is nothing but evil.

  Those of you, who rejoice in youth, are perpetually deceiving yourselves and those around you. You perceive everything about the reality surrounding you in a positive light. Even if you make a life-threatening mistake, it would still be seen as proof of your youth- etched into a single page of your recollections.

  I’ll give you an example. If such people are to dabble in criminal acts such as shoplifting or mass rioting, it would be called ‘youthful indiscretion’. If they fail an exam, they would claim that school is not only a place for studying. So long as they are in the face of ‘youth’, they’ll be showcasing a distortion of any commonly held beliefs or social norms.

  Under their discretion, lies, secrets, crimes and even failure are nothing but the spice of one’s youth. And in their corrupt ways, they discover something peculiar about failure. They conclude that while their own failures are generally a part of relishing in youth, others’ failures should be shot down as just failures and nothing more.

  If failure could be seen as proof of one's youth, wouldn’t it be strange not to consider those who fail to make friends as experiencing the height of their youth? Of course, they wouldn’t acknowledge it.

  It amounts to nothing. The whole thing is nothing but a result of their opportunism. Therefore, it is a sham. Full of lies, deception, secrets and fraud that ought to be condemned.

  They are evil.

  That is to say, ironic as it is, those who do not glorify their youth are the truly righteous ones.

  In conclusion, Riajuu[1], go blow yourselves up.

  Chapter 1 - In any case, Hikigaya Hachiman is corrupt

  My Japanese teacher, Shizuka Hiratsuka, popped a vein as she read my essay aloud. As I listened, I realized that my writing skills were far from proficient. I thought I might seem smart if I strung some fancy words together, but it just came off like a cheap tactic some struggling writer would think of.

  That said- is my amateurish essay the reason she called me? That couldn't be it. I knew that already. After Hiratsuka sensei had finished reading, she put a hand on her forehead and sighed deeply.

  "Say, Hikigaya, what was the assignment that I handed out during class?"

  "……well, it was an essay with the topic ‘Looking Back on High School Life’."

  "Exactly. So then why did you write a threat letter[1]? Are you a terrorist? Or perhaps, an idiot?"

  She let out another sigh and pulled a hand through her hair, vexed[2].

  Now that I think about it, using the word mistress instead of 'female teacher' makes it sound more erotic[3]. Then, just as I was grinning to myself while thinking about those things, a bundle of paper struck my head.

  "Pay attention!"

  "Yes."

  "Your eyes, they’re like the eyes of a rotting fish."

  "Do they really seem that rich in omega-3? Makes me sound smart."

  The corners of her mouth twitched upwards.

  "Hikigaya. What is with this tasteless essay? I'd at least like to hear some sort of reason." Her eyes flashed, shooting daggers at me, with a scowl deadly enough to make a sound. Only a woman cursed by beauty was capable of an expression so alarmingly powerful that it would unwillingly draw you in and completely overwhelm you. That is to say, it was seriously scary.

  "Uh-Well-I...did reflect on high school life, didn't I? Nowadays this is exceedingly what high school life is like, you know! My essay is pretty close to it!"

  I kept fumbling my words. I get nervous just by talking to people, but talking to an older woman made me all the more nervous.

  "Usually, such a question would require you to reflect on your own experiences, don't you think?"

  "Then please preface the question by saying so. If you'd done that, I would have written the essay accordingly. Isn't it your fault for writing a misleading question, sensei?"

  "Oh stop being so pedantic, kid."

  "Kid……? Well certainly from the perspective of someone your age, I am a kid, I guess."

  There was a gush of wind. It was a fist. A fist that was unleashed without any indication of movement. And if that weren't enough, it was an impressive fist that just grazed the side of my cheek.

  "The next one won't miss." Her eyes were serious.

  "I'm very sorry. I'll write it over." To show some semblance of remorse and regret, I'll have to choose my words wisely. But right now, of all things Hiratsuka sensei was, satisfied was not one of them. It seemed there was no other way but to kneel down and bow at her feet.

  I attempted to brush the creases out of my pants, and as I neatened them, my right leg bent down and became affixed to the floor. A flawless and swift movement.

  "You know, I'm not angry with you."

  ……Oh, so it's come to that. That annoying thing they always do. The 'I'm not angry, so please tell me' thing. I've never seen someone who says that not get angry. Surprisingly, though, she really wasn't angry. Well, excluding the moment I mentioned her age.

  I furtively observed her reaction as I lifted my right knee off the floor.

  From a breast pocket that was on the verge of bursting, Hiratsuka sensei pulled out a Seven Stars[4] and tapped its filter hard against her desk. Just like how some old guy would do. After packing the tobacco, she clicked a 100-yen lighter and lit her cigarette. She took a drag and considered me with a serious look on her face.

  "You're not in any clubs, right?"

  "Right."

  "……Do you have any friends?"

  She asked me like she had already assumed I didn't have any.

  "Well, I- I'll have you know that I live by the virtue of impartiality, and as such, am unable to have particularly intimate relationships with people!"

  "In other words, you don’t have any, right?"

  "W-well, basically…"

  As though she knew how I would reply, Hiratsuka sensei's face brimmed with excitement.

  "So that's how it is! You really don't have any friends! Exactly as I had diagnosed. Just one look at those lifeless eyes and I knew straight away!"

  So you figured it out just by looking at my eyes? Then, don't bother asking me.

  She nodded her head knowingly with a 'mhmm...yes' and considered me with a reserved expression.

  "…………What about a girlfriend or something?"

  What's with the 'something'? What would you do if I said I had a boyfriend?

  "Well I don't have one right now..."

  Considering any hopes for the future, I emphasised ‘now’, just in case.

  "I see......"

  This time she gazed at me intensely, with misty eyes. I really hoped it was because of the cigarette smoke irritating her eyes.

  Hey, stop that. Don't pity me with that soft gaze.

  In any case, where are all these questions going? Is Hiratsuka sensei one of those enthusiastic teachers?

  Is she going to be talking about how I'm that one rotten apple that spoils the barrel, soon?
<
br />   Perhaps she was once a delinquent high school drop out, who's now going to go back to her old high school to be a teacher?[5]......Seriously, can’t she just go back there?

  After some consideration, Hiratsuka sensei sighed as she exhaled a puff of smoke.

  "All right, let's do it this way. Rewrite your report."

  "Yes."

  And I definitely will.

  All right, this time I'll write a highly appropriate, inoffensive composition. Much like the blogs of gravure idols and voice actresses.

  Something like: Today's dinner was like……, curry!

  What's with using 'like'? There's nothing about that word that adds to the surprise of eating curry.

  Up until this point everything had gone as I expected. But what followed this was more than I had imagined.

  "However, the fact remains that your heartless words and behavior have hurt my feelings. Were you never taught not to talk to a woman about her age? As a result, you are required to join the service club. After all, wrongdoings must be punished."

  She didn't seem very hurt, so much so that she sounded commanding. Rather, she was more perky than usual, speaking in a cheerful manner.

  In saying that, the word perky[6] inadvertently reminds me of something else……my eyes averted from reality and ended up settling on sensei's breasts pushing up from underneath her blouse.

  Despicable……But then, what kind of person delights in handing out punishments?

  "The service club……What do you suppose I do there?" I timidly inquired. I get the feeling they could quite possibly ask me to clean out the gutter or even worse, kidnap people.

  "Just follow me."

  Hiratsuka sensei pressed the end of her cigarette onto a densely filled ashtray and stood up. While I stayed rooted to the spot having had no explanation or introduction to what she was proposing, sensei was already at the door, looking back at me.

  "Oi, hurry up."

  With my brows knitted and a scowl on my face, I followed her.

  1-2

  The school building at Chiba Municipal Soubu High School has a slightly irregular shape. If you look down at it from above, it looks just like the kanji for mouth (口) and a lot like the katakana for (ロ). Add the little audio-visual building at the bottom, and it would complete the bird’s eye view of our school. The building that contains the classrooms is on the side of the road and lies opposite to the special building. A passageway on the second floor links the two buildings, forming the square shape.

  The space enclosed by the school building in all four directions is the holy courtyard for the riajuu[1]. During lunchtime, both boys and girls eat lunch there together. Then, they play badminton to help digest. After school, with the last light of the sunset on the school building as a backdrop, they talk about love and watch the stars as a salty sea breeze blows over them.

  Are you kidding me?

  From an outsider’s perspective, it looks like they’re actors in a youth drama trying their best to play their respective roles. The thought can only make me shudder. In such a drama, I’d probably play the ‘tree’ or something.

  As Hiratsuka sensei click-clacked on the linoleum floor, it seemed as though she was headed toward the special building.

  I have a bad feeling about this.

  For starters, something called the 'service club' can't be any good. The word 'service' here wouldn't be used in an everyday situation; rather the use of this term would only be permitted in a restrictive sense. Like, for example, when referring to the kind of service a maid provides for her master[2]. If it was this kind of 'service', it’d be a real turn on and you’d really want to go 'Letsu Party!'[3].

  But in reality, such a thing wouldn't happen. No, actually, if you pay a set price it would be possible. And if money can buy anything you want, even this kind of thing, then I don't have any dreams or aspirations in such a rotten world. In any case, 'service' isn’t something good.

  What's more, we had already reached the special building. I'll definitely have to do stuff like move the piano from the music room, clean out the raw scraps from the biology lab or sort out the books in the library or something along those lines. In that case, I'll have to take precautions in advance.

  “I have this chronic disease in my lower back……which is, her…her…herpes? Yeah, that's it……”

  “I think you're referring to hernia. However, there's no need for your worry. What I'm asking you to do is not manual labor.” Hiratsuka sensei regarded me with an exceedingly contemptuous expression.

  Well then. Is it research, or some other kind of deskwork? That kind of work means a mindless job that's more intense than manual labor. It's similar to the torture of filling a hole in the ground, only to dig it out again.

  “I have this illness where I die upon entering a classroom.”

  “What long-nosed sniper does that remind me of? The one from the Straw Hat Pirates?[4]”

  So you read shounen manga?

  Well, I don't mind laboriously doing work by myself. If I flip a switch in my mind, making it clear that I am a machine, there would be no problem. And in the end, I would pursue a mechanical body only to become a bolt.[5]

  “We're here.”

  The classroom sensei had stopped in front of was not unusual. There was nothing written on the doorplate. As I was staring at it in wonder, sensei opened the sliding door with a clatter. There were chairs and tables piled up in cluttered stacks along the edge.

  Perhaps it was being used as a storage room. In comparison to other classrooms, there was nothing else special about its contents apart from that. It was an exceedingly normal classroom. However, what was most obviously distinct from everything else in the room, was a single girl.

  By the light of the sunset, she was reading a book. Even if the world had ended, she would still most certainly be sitting there, reading. That was the illusion she gave, so much so, that it was like a scene from a painting.

  The moment I saw it, both my mind and my body froze.

  I was inadvertently fascinated by it.

  Realizing there were visitors, she placed a bookmark in her paperback book and looked up.

  “Hiratsuka sensei. I thought I told you to knock before you enter…”

  Elegant features. Long, flowing ebony hair. Wearing a uniform that should be the same as the group of girls from my class, but still looks entirely different.

  “Even if I do knock, you never respond.”

  “That's because you enter before I have time to respond.” She gave a disapproving look in response to Hiratsuka sensei's words. “And who is that airhead with you?” She gave me a quick once-over with a cold look in her eyes.

  I know this girl. It's Yukinoshita Yukino - Grade 11, Class J.

  Obviously, I only know her by name and by face - I've never talked to her before. There's no way I would have, because I seldom ever have conversations with people at school.

  At Soubu High School, apart from the nine standard classes, there is one class aimed at nurturing talented students capable of fulfilling an active role in the international arena. This class has an academic standard that is two to three times better than the other classes. It mostly consists of students returning to Japan from overseas or students who have aspirations to study abroad.

  Among such a class, the one student that is prominent, or rather, naturally draws people's attention and stands out brilliantly, is Yukinoshita Yukino. Whether it's a regular exam or a placement exam, she is a high achiever who consistently sits at the top of our grade. Simply put, she is virtually the most perfect and beautiful girl in school and everyone knows who she is.

  On the other hand, I am just your average, completely mediocre student. That's why, even if she doesn't know me, I'm not offended in any way. Although, I was a little bit hurt that she used the word 'airhead'. Hurt enough to distract myself with the thought that there used to be a candy by that name and that I haven't seen it around lately.

  “This is Hikiga
ya. He's looking to join the club.”

  Prompted by Hiratsuka sensei, I nodded in acknowledgement. At this point it's probably time to segue into a self-introduction.

  “I'm Hikigaya Hachiman - Grade 11, Class F. Um…Hey…What do you mean by join?” Looking to join what? Join this club?

  Sensei began to talk. Had she already guessed what I was going to say?

  “You must engage in this club's activities as a penalty. I won't allow any disagreement, objection, protest, questions or retorts. Cool down for a bit. Reflect on your actions!” Without allowing me any room to protest, she declared her verdict with great resolution. “With that being said, you can probably tell by looking, but his heart is considerably corrupt. As a result, he's a pitiable, lonely person.”