Yahari Ore no Seishun Rabu Kome wa Machigatteiru - Volume 01 Page 13

  But Yukinoshita did not have a normal person's sensitivity, and was not the type who would accommodate those types of manly anxieties.

  “I’m the one talking here. When someone speaks to you, you should try and face that person directly.”

  Yukinoshita spoke in a cold voice as she grabbed Zaimokuza by the collar, forcing him to face her straight on.

  Indeed. Yukinoshita herself had no manners, but she was really annoying when it came to the manners of others. It had gotten to the point where even I made sure I properly greeted her every time I went to the clubroom.

  When Yukinoshita released Zaimokuza’s collar, he began to cough severely. It really wasn't a good time for him to try and stay in character.

  “… M-Mwahahaha… By Jove…”

  “Additionally, stop talking like that.”

  “……”

  Yukinoshita struck him down, and so the silenced Zaimokuza looked down at the ground.

  “Why are you wearing a coat in this season?”

  “… H-hmph. This cloak, as one of my twelve divine instruments, protects me from the demonic energies of this world. But each time I reincarnate into this world, it is this cloak that allows me to choose the most appropriate form to take. Fuwahahaha!”

  “Stop talking like that.”

  “Ah, okay…”

  “So, why are you wearing fingerless gloves? Is there a point to that? Those won’t protect your fingers.”

  “…Ah, yes. Umm… These are an inheritance of my previous incarnation, and together, they are one of my twelve divine instruments. This special armor shoots out diamonds, and so I may more easily wield their power in combat, I let my fingers out into the open… Indeed! Fuwahahaha!”

  “You're talking like that again.”

  “Hahaha! Hahaha… hah…”

  Zaimokuza started with a boisterous laugh, but it soon devolved into a slightly tearful sigh. And then he once again fell into silence.

  Perhaps she took pity on him at that point, but… Yukinoshita suddenly changed course, putting on a kind-looking expression.

  “In any case, is it fine if we simply say that you want this disease cured?”

  “…Ah, it’s not really a disease though…”

  Zaimokuza, who still wasn’t looking Yukinoshita in the eye, spoke in a very small voice. He just glanced at me every now and then with a troubled expression on his face.

  He had completely returned to his true self.

  It seemed that Zaimokuza was incapable of staying in character while subject to Yukinoshita’s sparkling gaze.

  Ugh! I couldn't watch it any longer! Zaimokuza was way too pitiful. It made me want to throw him some sort of lifeline.

  I decided that the best first step would be to separate Zaimokuza and Yukinoshita, and therefore I took a step towards them… But I felt myself step on something.

  It was one of the papers that had been flown through the room earlier.

  When I picked it up, I saw a bunch of insanely difficult kanji lined up. That piece of paper completely stole my focus.

  “This is…”

  I raised my gaze from the page and looked into the middle of the room. These pages, typeset with forty-two words on each of the thirty-four lines, were scattered all throughout the room. I picked them up one by one and began to arrange them in sequential order.

  “Hm, as expected… I didn’t have to say a word for you to realize it. Truly this is proof that there was value in our struggles against those hellish times.”

  Zaimokuza spoke with quite a lot of emotion in his voice, but I ignored him. Yuigahama looked at the papers I held in my hands.

  “What’s that?”

  I passed her the bundle of papers and she began to flip through them, checking their contents. I could almost see a question mark floating above her head as she tried to read the pages, but she finally gave out a long sigh and passed the papers back to me.

  “What’s this?”

  “A draft of a novel… I think.”

  In response, Zaimokuza cleared his throat as if trying to reset the conversation.

  “I am grateful for your keen insight. Indeed, that is a manuscript for a light novel. I intend to apply to a certain novel competition for new authors, but I have no friends, and so I have no second opinions. Read that, if you would.”

  “For some reason, I get the feeling that there was something really sad in the middle of that…”

  You could say that the desire to be a light novel author was a natural symptom of chuunibyou. It was natural that they'd want to bring their imagination to life. And it wasn’t strange for those overimaginative chuunibyou to believe that they would make good novelists. And of course it was a happy thing to be able to earn a living with something you loved.

  So if Zaimokuza wanted to be a light novel author, then that was normal.

  Coming all this way to show his work to us, on the other hand, was not normal.

  “There are sites where you can put this kind of stuff up and ask for feedback, so why don’t you just try one of those?”

  “No use--those people have no mercy. Too much criticism. I would probably die.”

  …What a weakling.

  But certainly, on the internet others show no. restraint at all. They'll say what they want, whereas your friends would be more considerate of your feelings and try to say stuff to make you feel better about yourself.

  Generally speaking, considering our relationship with Zaimokuza, we couldn't be too strict with him. It's definitely difficult to dole out a harsh critique when you're looking at the other person in the eye. We would probably have to go at it in a really roundabout way instead. Normally, anyway…

  “But then…”

  I glanced to my side and let out half a sigh. I met Yukinoshita’s gaze; she had a blank look on her face.

  “Yukinoshita is probably going to be harsher than the people online, you know?”

  5-3

  Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, and I each took a copy of Zaimokuza's manuscript with us. We'd decided we would spend a night reading it.

  If I were to slap a label onto Zaimokuza’s light novel, I would call it a superhuman action novel set in a school.

  It took place in a certain small city in Japan, a place where, under the cover of darkness, there were constant battles between secret organizations and super-powered reincarnators. In the midst of that, a completely ordinary young man awakened to his hidden powers and began to spectacularly mow down his enemies one after another.

  By the time I'd finished reading the novel, the sun was rising.

  As a result, I ended up sleeping through basically all of my classes. Even so, once a lazy sixth period and a short homeroom were past, I decided to head for the clubroom.

  “Hey! Wait, wait!”

  As I entered the special building, I heard a voice call to me and turned around. Yuigahama was chasing after me; a flimsy-looking schoolbag banged against one shoulder with every step.

  “Hikki, you don’t look so well. What’s wrong?”

  “Ah, well, I mean, spending so much time reading that thing would make anyone tired… I’m seriously sleepy. Actually, how can you look completely fine after reading that?”

  “Eh?”

  Yuigahama blinked a few times.

  “…Ah… y-you’re right. I’m sooooo sleepy right now…”

  “You definitely didn’t read it, did you…?”

  Yuigahama gazed out the window and hummed, ignoring my question. She was feigning innocence, but I could see cold sweat start to drip down her cheeks and neck. Would it show through her blouse…?

  5-4

  I opened the clubroom door and was greeted by the rare sight of Yukinoshita nodding off.

  “Good work last night.”

  Even after I called out to her, Yukinoshita's gentle, even breathing continued; she was still asleep. Her almost-smiling face was a far cry from her usual stern, sharp demeanor, and that change made my pulse quicken.

&nbs
p; I almost felt as if I could just stay and watch her sleep forever. Her black hair, gently waving back and forth; her smooth, almost transparently white skin; her huge teary eyes; her well-formed pink lips…

  Her lips lightly moved.

  “…I’m surprised. One look at your face woke me right up.”

  Uwah… I think I just woke up too. She deceived me with her pretty appearance, so I almost lost control. I really would love to just make that girl sleep… forever.

  Yukinoshita let out a kitty-like yawn and stretched grandly, extending both her hands above her head.

  “From the looks of it, you also had a pretty hard fight last night, didn’t you?”

  “Yes, it’s been quite a while since I’ve worked all night… After all, I’ve never read anything quite like this. I don’t think I can bring myself to like this sort of thing very much.”

  “Yeah. It was also pretty bad for me.”

  “You didn’t read it at all. Go and read it now, dammit.”

  At my words, Yuigahama let out a grumpy groan and took out the manuscript in question from her bag. There wasn’t a single crease in her copy; it was in perfect condition. Then Yuigahama began to flip through the manuscript at an insane pace.

  She really looked bored out of her mind when she was reading it… I watched Yuigahama as she read and began to speak.

  “It’s not like all light novels are like that. There are definitely a decent number of good ones.”

  I was fully aware that that statement really did Zaimokuza no favors. Yukinoshita cocked her head to the side and spoke to me.

  “Like the one you’ve been reading around the clubroom lately?”

  “Yeah, that one was good. I recommend you try Gaga-“

  “Maybe if I have time.”

  It seemed that the “people who say that will never read it” rule was in full effect here… I heard a gruff knock on the clubroom door.

  “This one begs your pardon…”

  Zaimokuza once again spoke in an archaic fashion and entered into the room.

  “Well then, let’s hear your impressions.”

  Zaimokuza docked himself into a chair and crossed his arms arrogantly. There was a sense of superiority coming from God-knows-where on his face. It was an expression overflowing with confidence.

  However, Yukinoshita, sitting across from him, looked unusually apologetic.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t really understand these kinds of things too well, but…”

  Yukinoshita started off with that, but Zaimokuza responded completely calmly.

  “I don’t mind. Even ones such as I occasionally wish to hear the opinions of the common folk. Speak your mind.”

  “I see.” Yukinoshita responded shortly and took a deep breath, steeling her resolve.

  “It was boring. In fact, it was almost painful to read. It was boring beyond imagination.”

  “Oofgh!”

  Zaimokuza was cut down in a single stroke…

  His chair rattled as he rocked backwards in it, but Zaimokuza managed to find his balance and sit upright again.

  “H-hmm… Well then, for future reference, would you kindly inform me: which parts of the work were boring?”

  “First off, the grammar was a mess. Why did you reverse the word order of sentences so much? Don’t you know how to use particles? Didn’t they teach you that in elementary school?”

  “Nghhh… I believed that style would be better at engaging the readers with the work…”

  “Shouldn’t you only think about things like that once you’ve managed to write past the bare minimum standard of proper Japanese? Additionally, you abuse furigana[1] far too often. Here you write ‘nouryoku’ but have the furigana ‘chikara’[2] above it… No one pronounces it that way. Furthermore, you wrote ‘Genkou Hasen’ here, which is more-or-less ‘Phantom Crimson Slash,’ but you wrote above it ‘Bloody Nightmare Slasher.’ Where exactly did the ‘nightmare’ come from?”

  “Ufghh! O-Ooo… You’re wrong! All the supernatural battle novels lately have used lots of furigana…”

  “That's strictly for your own self-satisfaction. It isn't going to reach anyone else. Do you really want others to read this? If you really do, then you also have to make it less predictable. I could tell what was coming in the story from miles away and there was no sign that things would get more interesting. And why is the heroine stripping here? There’s absolutely no lead-up to it.”

  “Hnghhh! B-but novels that don’t have that kind of thing in them don’t sell… so you have to… That is…”

  “Also, the narration is too long and has so many convoluted kanji, so it’s just really hard to read. Also, please refrain from trying to make people read an unfinished story. Before we even talk about literary style, maybe you should go and get some common sense.”

  “Pnnghyahhh!!”

  Zaimokuza stretched out his limbs and let out a shriek. His shoulders convulsed, and he looked up at the ceiling with blank eyes. His little overreaction was getting a bit annoying, so he really should stop that soon…

  “Let’s stop there for now. It’d probably be bad if you went through everything in a single sitting.”

  “I still have a lot more to say, though… Well then, fine. I suppose Yuigahama-san is next.”

  “Eh?! M-me?!”

  Yuigahama seemed shocked, and Zaimokuza faced her with a pleading expression. His eyes were tearing up. Yuigahama probably saw that and pitied the poor fellow, so she seemed to try and think of some compliment she could pay him. She fell into thought while staring off into the air and summoned up a few words of encouragement.

  “U-umm… Y-you sure do know a lot of tough words…”)

  “Uwaaagghhhh!!”

  “You finished him off…”

  To aspiring novelists, that phrase was an absolute taboo. After all, think about it… It meant that it was the only good thing Yuigahama could say about Zaimokuza’s novel. It was a common phrase to hear when someone writing a light novel asked people not used to light novels for their opinions. And it was absolutely equivalent to being told that your work was not interesting at all.

  “W-well then… Hikki, go ahead.”

  Yuigahama almost seemed to be running away when she stood up and offered me her seat. I sat right in front of Zaimokuza and Yuigahama took another seat diagonally behind me.

  It seemed that she no longer could handle looking Zaimokuza straight in the eyes when he was in this completely burned-out, pale state.

  “G-gnnghh… H-Hachiman. You understand me, right? The world I created, this vast landscape of light novel magnificence… You understand it, right? You understand this profound story I spun and all these other fools cannot hope to appreciate… Right?”

  Yeah… I understood him all too well.

  I nodded reassuringly. Zaimokuza looked at me with eyes of absolute trust.

  I guess that as a man, I had to answer truthfully here. I took one deep breath and spoke kindly:

  “So, just who did you rip-off to write that?”

  “Hnghh?! B-bbnggh… Gurgle…”

  Zaimokuza writhed back and forth on the floor, but stopped once he crashed right into the wall. Then he just lay there, not moving a muscle. His empty eyes stared up at the ceiling, and a single tear streaked down his cheek. It was the look of a man who was ready to die.)

  “…You’re the one with no mercy. That was definitely much more cruel than mine.”

  Yukinoshita was completely taken aback.

  “…Hey, you…”

  Yuigahama was poking me with her elbow… It seemed that she wanted me to follow up with something. But what exactly should I say here…? When I thought about it, though, I realized that I had forgotten to mention one of the most fundamental things when it came to light novels:

  “Well, the important thing is the illustrations. So don’t worry so much about the writing.”

  5-5

  Zaimokuza did a few breathing exercises to calm himself down, as if he was in
a Lamaze class, and then stood up on a newborn deer's shaky limbs.

  Then he dusted himself off with his hands and looked directly at me.

  “…Would you… read my work again?”